I don't look like what I've been through.

After my initial video post, several people messaged me and said that they would have had no idea what I had gone through by looking at my FaceBook page. This was a conscious decision, and was how I wanted it.

I've always been mindful of what I present to the world, and this is especially true in social media because sometimes that is the only version of you that people get to see. I was careful when I was sick, making a very personal choice, not to post pictures or posts relating to my illness for two reasons:

1.) I knew that my circumstances were temporary and did not want to accept or display that which was not a true version of who I was.

2.) I didn't want people to pity me while I was going through the storm, but rather to celebrate me, when I came out on the other side.

With this in mind, I lived my life the fullest that I could, despite my circumstances and presented myself as I knew I should be. Dressing the part, so to speak, I posted photos of birthdays and outings, dinners and family visits.

I posted this picture, in February 2016, at the state championship Lego League tournament. I was heavily medicated, experiencing significant back pain, and had brought both a wheelchair and a walker for the trip. I was unable to drive, needed help with stairs and could not sit or stand for long periods. But to the rest of the world, I looked like a mom on an outing, being silly with her kids. That's who I was. That's how I saw myself. That's how my children saw me. So, that's what Facebook saw. But, what people couldn't see was what it took for me to get there. The determination it took to walk to the top of the bleachers, the strength it took to stand from sitting, the courage it took to leave the wheelchair in the trunk, the sacrifice I made to sit in pain all day so that my child felt supported. I refused to let my circumstances define me. Instead, I redefined them.

We choose what we show to the world, and we have our reasons for doing so. It's important that we focus on the positive and find small triumphs in even the most difficult of situations. This is not to say that others shouldn't post prayer requests or write posts related to your circumstances; I'm saying not to allow those things to define you. Even in our darkest times we must find a little light and hold onto it.

I don't look like what I've been through. Neither do you.

Get on Fire! 🔥🔥🔥